All is concept.

 

 

 

 

The story of “enlightenment” may not be recognised for what it is

when it appears because it will not meet your previous expectations

about what it should be.

There are identities that the body/mind (or whatever you want to call it)

likes to attach to and claim in order to validate it’s existence.

Always re-introducing it’s existence to itself and placing itself in a story.

Moving toward pleasure,

and avoiding pain.

“I am a good person”

“I am a spiritual person”

“I am an enlightened person”

But then,

how others see us,

or how we appear in their story is also true.

No matter what it is,

there is a perceiving of  our existence

within what is happening there (in their story

as a palette for their projection)

that is just as valid.

“I am stupid”

“I am arrogant”

“I am an asshole”

(I) have to be for them what they perceive me to be.

It is a role that must be filled.

 

What we are is always changing.

We are looking for security and safety

by claiming adjectives

that label this human mind,

so that we can reinforce our individuality.

It is an “individual” world.

But who we are is always changing.

What we think we know is always changing.

Our reality is always changing.

There is absolutely nothing that we can place

our hand upon and say “This is it!”

It will always find its own contradiction

and create another labyrinth.

Even for those who claim liberation or enlightenment

find that speaking about anything that

wants to be known by the mind

will become a concept.

Non duality is a concept.

Enlightenment is a concept.

And the story that appears, once

our true nature has been seen,

is no more relevant than the life of a stone.

 

 

 

Sweet Human Grossness

Enlightenment has no relevancy to which

side you wish to play.

It just brings into awareness whatever is happening now.

What is happening now could be ugly and messy and shame and sick,

and is still remains enlightened – made within the glowing light of a living life.

I spent many years absorbing qualifiers to help me maintain authority over my reality.

Struggling to be essentially good, essentially peaceful, essentially “spiritual” – without commemoration

to my sweet human grossness.

This is messy.

Fuck yes it is!

Where is the applause for how intricate it gets around here?

There is always both sides – exactly equal – exactly perfect – exactly on time.

The stories of righteousness that bound the human psychology to it’s arrogance

are the stories of possible separation.

How could this be that one sided?

What we term as evil – has it’s place in this.

In fact, it’s polarity is the perfect emanation of things happening

contrast to the light of hope and goodness that we also call perfection.

To find the story of ‘enlightenment’ – because, really, that is all that’s happening-

means to ‘see’ the culmination of all things arising spontaneously and in perfect order

(no matter what it is)

as this immediate now.

The judgement of that Now is only a story.

It has no real impact other than the added story of belief in that judgement.

Which is also part of Now.

So to pick sides seems mostly interesting,

a drama for the story,

a concoction for the experiment,

an observation for the perspective;

and only that.

Your and my covetousness of holy water

is prime time television power!

Oh the struggle to be better that the other me or you

is so entertaining if nothing else.

The pain of “not goo enough” is all so dramatic.

I feel it in my skull and in my belly.

And it is only the knocking at the door

of what is happening right now.

There can be no definition to what is born

in the breadth of impenetrable silence.

 

The Never Ending Dream

When the non-dual state is witnessed and our natural infinite awareness is observed – it would seem that Duality becomes even more striking. What was ignored, or perhaps unconscious, was the organising principles of the “reality” that relates directly to the Mind. While there is experiential knowing about the Nature of Reality and Oneness (by the abrupt unveiling of the Void and, in turn, the eclipse of 3 dimensional form), life still carries on within the mental concepts of Mind. Non-dual awareness, once it is seen and experienced, becomes the true reality. It is the unchanging Intelligence that experiences itself objectively by creating two. The infinite consciousness delivers unto itself, another illusory separate consciousness. A consciousness that says: I AM. A consciousness that begins with thought, creating its own reality as it observes itself.

Within this new dual awareness is an eternal stream of possibilities. Like the never ending calculations of the Golden Ratio creating the spiral, all expressions of that dual reality are manifested. Upon the foundation of Non dual reality, Dual reality is realized; yet there is still only that which has no other. There can never be anything else. Still, even the thought of Non – Duality is duality because there needs to another to think of it.

So, from this point of reference that looks like me, I am actually seeing more duality than ever before. The observation is that all manifestation has contrast; the black and white. Every means of momentum and blink of thought is within the dual illusion. My typing of the computer keys; the sound of my dog snoring; my memories of yesterday; the feel of my clothes on my skin; the processes of my biology; the light shining in the window; are all just manifested thought forms. The details of my horrors and trials are only assumed to be mine, when they were actually only observed, and as the feelings arose they were also assumed as a part of me. My senses process stimulation through the mind. The mind applies itself to dimensional reality. When I am asleep and dreaming , I am assuming it is real. It feels real. I can hear people talking and music playing. I can feel the touch of another and the wind on my cheeks. I can see my environment. Even when it gets ridiculous, I believe it to be the truth. But then I wake up and I then assume my new reality to be real. My senses tell me this is the truth. There is a strong conviction that THIS is the reality and THAT was the dream. How do you know? How can we ever trust the “truth” of the mind that so desperately fights for its dominance and survival? What is it not showing me?

There is a part of us that resists this kind of talk. It doesn’t want to get too deep. It loves the intellectual stimulation that it gets from the philosophies and descriptions of this non-reality, but to actually experience it there is serious resistance. And that’s ok. It is all part of the program that is running. The unconsciousness is very purposeful. It has created many stories and possibilities that manifested directly out of this unconsciousness. Incredible stories of accomplishment and disaster, love and hate, life and death, greed and generosity, me and you. If the truth about our true nature had always been easily accessible then the mind’s limitation would have seen as the transparent game that it is. Belief in this 3 dimensional reality has the key to this story. It is the driving force behind evolution. Contrast is the grain of sand in the oysters mouth; it is the irritation that creates the pearl.

But now…the cracks are showing.

There is more access to the truth that rests beyond the mind. We are beginning to see for ourselves, and understand through experience, what we believed to be unattainable without a great and perilous journey.  The idea that we needed to be ‘better’ or ‘different’ than what we are in the moment in order to earn the right or be worthy of such seeing is being washed away by the simplicity of the truth that never been anywhere but here. It has always been right in front of us.

The mind has created so many concepts and beliefs around and on top of what is already the case that it has been disguised as something complex. When in actuality it is so simple that once it is seen some say that they are a bit disappointed; they expected a glorious arrival to a permanent bliss state. But to be enlightened only means light has been shed upon the reality of what is happening. There is a deep relaxation that occurs when it is realised that in Oneness there is only the Now of what is happening and that everything is going on (as it always has) in perfect synchronicity to itself. And while we have a tendency to believe that we need to avoid our stories or create better stories, there can be the realisation that the stories themselves are the meaning of Life.

Each event, action and thought are in perfect alignment to that freedom which we seek because it is born directly from the belly of that Life force. The “point to it all” is already arrived when we accept that our life, exactly as it is now, is the Truth. No matter how bad it gets or how much suffering we experience ( and trust me – I have been there) the purpose is directly in the centre of that experience. Plus, the ripple effect that our stories have on the world can never be known fully, nor do they need to be known, because they have their own calling and story within the story. We can try and create meaning out of events, or we can see them directly for what they are: the event at present. And that event can never truly touch who you really are, because the event is born from that Oneness. It is all happening within and of that Intelligence. There is no one to suffer – only the story of suffering.

Does that ease the pain? It can. But it may not because suffering is also the story. We suffer until we don’t. That is the experience. Of course we would love to live life without pain and suffering, because that would feel better. But there is nothing that can be born out of one sided reality. It arrives out of contrast. The polarity is what creates our Universe. It is the grandest movie on the biggest screen. Our never ending dream of Life.

We are That.

There have been years of searching for

the blissful emotion,

the perfect life,

the right things to do,

the desirable identity,

the comforting words,

the high profile job,

the picture perfect this,

and a sense of closure

within every event.

I wanted to be wanted.

I needed to be needed.

The yearning to be envied,

the way I envied the unattainable.

The sweet tasks of manipulation

in order to produce the golden moments.

The daily efforts to soothe and sedate

my worried mind.

The undercurrents of suffering

looked so pretty when they

were the seemingly petty sacrifice

to attain future goal.

So much self concern.

Self importance

Absorption

Myopic world.

*Deep breath*

And that’s ok.

That is the experience.

It doesn’t mean anything more.

It is the seeing of that state.

The observation of what that

kind of thinking looks like

and feels like.

It was lived through me.

It expressed itself through this

pretend body

and in this pretend life.

I don’t judge it harshly.

I don’t judge it at all.

Because there is nothing to judge.

There is no absolute ideal.

Just the natural intelligence

that observes what is happening.

The concepts

the ideas

the rules

the boundaries

the imperatives

the goals

the should’s

the passing of time

is all part of this game.

This beautiful

incredible

intricate

and

infinite

game

that we call life.

We take it seriously.

and believe in its impact.

We believe there is something

to be done.

That there is somewhere to get to.

That there is someone or something

That needs to be changed

or saved

or ended.

Like we ever really had control.

Like we ever really made any choices.

Like we were ever separate.

Like we were ever going to die.

You are Eternal.

Nothing can hurt you.

Suffering comes

and it goes.

Joy comes

and it goes.

the bottomless, boundless

ocean of Life

Of which you are.

Of which we are.

We are That.

The Infinite Kiss

To be “myself” sometimes requires a total disregard for what is acceptable.

There is an expression that wants to be free.

It wants to allow the emotions and thoughts to expand and dance in liberation.

That each swirling complexity wants it’s own pattern.

It’s own room to move.

To be alive.

But in terms of what is acceptable

and appropriate,

they are squandered.

True self honesty does not require concepts

because there is only the moment.

Still, under the pressure of self questioning and shame

they live in a rigid box,

curled and withered.

They lose their lustre and sound,

when told to be quiet and sit down.

Like a child wanting

my securities wane in the desire

to belong.

To be heard.

And to play.

Like my adolescent rejection

my confusion wants to rage and

set the world on fire.

To purge and

to thunder.

Like a maiden weeping

my yearning cries out

for direction in the labyrinth and

lust in her bed.

To be loved

and to sweat sweetly.

Like a mother vexing

my uncertainty is clashed with my

compassion.

To nurture and

to torture.

Like a crone that is weaving,

I am watching the mysteries of life

reveal themselves to me

between my crooked fingers.

To wax and

to wane.

Like the corpse sleeping

I am descending and

turning to dust,

to unfold into nothing.

The infinite kiss.

It Doesn’t Matter

TRBrownrigg 2104

It seems that we are continuously looking to become something other than what we are or what is happening right now. An answer that we believe is waiting somewhere beyond our reach. Something that will make us worthy of life. We think that if we can just improve ourselves and our life that there will be a resolution, a point of resting and enlightenment. We search for answers and argue about context. Even the Non-Dual and Advaita pointers have conflicting points of view on how Oneness should be approached – or revealed.

But it doesn’t matter.

That too is all part of it.

Whether we are searching – or whether we don’t care about any of it – it is perfect because it is happening. The discussions and opinions and all the things we – and I – write about… and what we see…. and what we think is STILL a part of it all. Even the pain.

And it still doesn’t matter.

Conceptually – it’s like God is talking to itself (himself/herself – whatever).

This is a game of revealing. A play on contrast. And expression of opposites. The grandest calculation of numbers.

And nothing really “matters” in the black and white of things because it is all happening within itself.

What you are reading right now is your own words. This is all for you. Made by you. (If you were only you – but you are not)

We are what we see.

Both the sacred and the profane are part of the illusory life arising within the Consciousness that is everything.

Presence (God) playing a game of expression with itself, and within itself, folding in on itself.

Of course there is nothing to actually create anything – let alone an “itself”.

There is just consciousness dreaming.

Dreaming.

Out of nothing – the dream of life arises.